8 Things

Can you add more things to the list? Help us make this list longer! Earlier in my life, I would apologize constantly. No matter the situation, I reflexively apologized as if my very existence required an apology. I falsely believed that everyone’s well-being depended on me, my words, behavior, and my rigid perfection. What incredible pressure! I saddled myself with responsibility for the world’s pain and the experience of people around me. The result was overwhelm, deep melancholy, and the stress of walking on EGG SHELLS constantly awaiting the next disappointment. We don’t need to live in this cage. Thankfully, I began to taste that liberation is possible. What shifted? Over time, as I practiced mindfulness and self-compassion, I came to see myself as a being of infinite worth—worthy of care and compassion. I came to understand that I was not responsible for other people’s happiness. I realized that imperfection is a part of human experience. I grew to appreciate that when I offered myself compassion, I was paradoxically freed and empowered to offer others compassion, not out of shame or obligation, but freely out of love. So surrendering my compulsion to apologize incessantly freed me to love others more fully. I would not have guessed this could be possible, but with daily mindfulness practice, a wise therapist, the support of a gentle partner, and lots of self-compassion, I realized a slow and persistent shift over many years is possible. Weekend Wisdom is a weekly sharing from Copper Beech Institute’s founder, Dr. Brandon Nappi.