Winter Highlights - Weekend Wisdom with Dr. Brandon Nappi
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Below we have gathered highlights from Dr. Brandon Nappi. Whether you read this on social media already or are seeing this for the first time, we hope you find comfort and insight.
2.16.20
2 Reasons to Practice Mindfulness
1. So that when others don’t behave as I’d like, I don’t explode.
2. So that when I explode because others don’t behave as I’d like, I can ask for forgiveness of myself and others.
Growth is rarely linear and thankfully mindfulness is not about perfection. We practice so that we can show up in challenging moments with compassion and a deep sense of groundedness, sometimes called equanimity. Mindfulness practice is not a destination, but a life-long process of growth. There is no walking without stumbling, falling, getting up, and walking again. Let’s not over-dramatize the process of growth or despair when we fall. For most of us, growth involves a simple process in which we stumble, fall, and get up again. Hopefully, in the process we can learn about what habits or patterns are causing us to stumble. Of course, most of us learn slowly and will stumble often. So let’s embrace the stumbling as part of a predictable process of learning and growing. Can we be gentle with ourselves for the moments when we let ourselves down? Just keep going! And trust that we are all walking a similar path and we are all breathing together.
1.26.20
The hammer teaches us to surrender-
The more control you demand,
the less true power you will have.
The ordinary hammer has a very powerful spiritual lesson to teach us, but first, we need to understand the physics of the hammer. In any common hammer, according to the laws of physics, power and control are inversely related. This simply means that the MORE CONTROL you want, the LESS POWER you will have. You have intuitively known this to be true anytime you’ve used a hammer in daily life. If you have ever nailed a small nail into the wall to hang a picture, you likely held the hammer close to the top to make sure that you hit the tiny nail on the head. In holding the hammer at the top, you are maximizing control because you don’t want to smash your fingers if you miss the nail. Because a tiny, thin nail doesn’t need lots of power, you surrender your need for power for an increase in control. While this low power, high control scenario works for hammering a tiny nail, it would not work for building a house. To hammer heavy studs together, you need maximal power, so a carpenter grips the hammer at the bottom and INCREASES POWER by DECREASING CONTROL. The laws of physics are a powerful life lesson. We are all seeking true power. I do not mean power to manipulate others, but the kind of self-actualization that allows us to live in alignment with our deepest values and embody our sacred convictions. True power is our ability to live with integrity, compassion, and service. If we want to increase our true, sacred power, we must be willing to let go of control. Just like in the hammer, the need for maximal control will only diminish our power. So, are you willing to surrender control? Are you able to stand in not-knowing? Can you imagine that life might unfold more gracefully without your micro-managing it? The act of surrender is courageous. We invite you to join us in living out the wisdom of the hammer and the surrender that is implicit in this wise and simple tool.
1.1.20
There is no such thing as feeling ready.
Feeling ready is an illusion—
nothing more than that.
In beginning of the new year, some of us feel excitement and joyful anticipation; others feel a sense of worry or dread. Some of us feel ready for the tasks and milestones ahead while others feel totally unprepared. No matter what you are feeling and experiencing this new year’s day, we hope you can remember that everything belongs. Nothing is wasted. Every emotion comes as a messenger. Can we be open and welcoming to all emotions, pleasant, unpleasant and neutral? A challenging new moment requires the same thing that every moment requires--the ability to welcome each experience as it arrives without judgment. The only thing you need to be ready is your openness to feeling everything any anything. You don’t need skill, expertise, knowledge, or any other esoteric skills that we often persuade ourselves is lacking in us. ‘Readiness’ is a mental construct that the inner critic often uses to convince us that we are not enough-smart enough, funny enough, thin enough, healthy enough, spiritual enough, wise enough, etc. While there may be an opportunity for us to develop some new skills or knowledge, awareness itself is the greatest resource to allow us the gift of welcoming a whatever the new year brings. Our community here at Copper Beech Institute wishes you a new year filled with the courage to meet the joys and sorrows, the challenges and the successes of 2020 with an open heart.
12.15.19
4 Ways to Practice Gratitude by offering gratefulness for:
1. The blessings that you have.
2. The painful things that you don’t have.
3. The blessings that others have.
4. The challenges that lead to growth.
Gratitude practice is deceptively simple. After all, gratitude is a part of nearly every spiritual tradition and research suggests that practicing gratitude can foster better immune function, reduce stress, and lead to greater levels of happiness. We're learning that sometimes happiness is the source of your gratitude and sometimes your gratitude is the source of your happiness. Sometimes I wonder if gratitude can become a pretty mask for narcissistic consumerism - a permission slip to attain more. It can lead us to become tone-deaf to the needs of others and reinforce our own craving for what we think will bring happiness but ultimately can never satisfy the deepest longing of the heart. Gratitude can quickly become an elite privilege when it neatly reinforces our sense of entitlement. I struggle with the reality that I'm thankful for all that I have even when I have ridiculously more than I need. It's a fantastic irony that the day after we celebrate being thankful for what we do have, we celebrate shopping for what we don't have. In our culture, there is a well-worn path in which gratitude seems to flow effortlessly into greed. While we are busy feeling grateful and #blessed, there is untold need in our world, in our neighborhoods and in our own families. Can we cultivate thankfulness in a way that doesn't reduce gratitude to a self-help gimmick akin to fad diets and beach-body workouts? The purpose of any spiritual practice is to foster the opening of the heart in service to all people, especially to those who are most vulnerable. Gratitude reminds us that we belong to each other. Weekend Wisdom is a weekly sharing from Copper Beech Institute’s founder, Dr. Brandon Nappi.